How wrong was I!! After the chat with Prof. Donde your mind definitely changes and you think I'm done, yeah a week to go and I'm outta of here, the reality is very different...
So first the sores in my mouth decided to play up big time, OMG the pain is unbearable, I can't eat, drink, swallow - ANYTHING!! with this you get headaches, nausea feeling and this thick mucus in your saliva that make you continually reach. Finally on Friday where I think I had an infection as well I had to call Dr. Boyes-Varley who was in surgery to get some relief and antibiotics, fuck! it's been hell these past few days, my weight is probably at about 90-91kgs and feel so tired its unreal.
Anyway, the antibiotics are working and the sores have receded slightly, but its still over the top pain, its even hard just laying around watching TV!!
I have a few things in work this week and then I need a break as I am knackered, both mentally and physically, I feel very weak and irritable, also I look in the mirror and if wasn't for the burning of my skin from the radiation I would see a very ill person, my face is probably thinner than I can ever remember, you suddenly look and feel very old, not pleasant at all!
Anyway, one week to go and then all thoughts have to be on recovery, which I hope I can mentally get right very quickly, I have to say this has been the worst period of my life, really shit! Sorry to end negatively but it is just too painful.....
Welcome to my blog, my name is Stephen Sharp and this is the start of my journey to fight cancer. I will try and walk through the stages of my treatment and hopefully give anyone out there suffering with the same problem an insight into what I have been through or am going through.
Gosh. Thank you for sharing this with us. I lost my dad, brother in-law, and aunt to cancer and I wish I knew what happened in their lives at the time.
ReplyDeleteI also wish we were more supportive. What you have done in terms of transforming the team, even while you are feeling the way you did - and still do, is amazing.
Lots of respect to you Stephen.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling too good at the moment especially after the encouraging news last week. Hang on in there buddy.
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